Tuesday 9 December 2014

I have learned a new word that the humans are fond of using: "helping".  This word is used by the humans when I am getting involved in their goings-on, especially what they call "work".  Though the shorter word "help" seems to be used in a mewling or commanding tone of voice, "helping" is always combined with the humans' use of finger gestures in the air whenever it is uttered. It is usually spoken in a losing-thier-patience tone of voice, as in "Honey please, come get the cat, she is "helping".  If I choose to continue making whatever they are working on even more fabulous at this point, the phrase is often repeated, sometimes with the addition of the pulling of their own hair: "Honey, PLEASE, come get the cat, she is "helping"! I really like the sound of this one, since the "helping" word usually comes out in a kind of strained sing-songy tone which is the closest they get to really good caterwauling.

This is when I really sink my claws into whatever the task at hand is.  Sometimes I help by batting things around, often off of the desk they are working on.  The humans sometimes make marks on paper with a long, thin yellow stick.  It is great fun to bite this, or grab it with a paw while they are concentrating on the page.  Sometimes I can manage to knock it from their hand, then further bat it under the couch.  I can tell now that the human is losing it's cool.  Now the phrase comes through gritted teeth: "Honey, PLEASE, COME, GET the cat, she is "HELPING"! Ah, music to my ears. Now, I get stared at, and I nonchalantly turn my head away, as if the human isn't even there. Hey human, you want my attention? Go get the stick, I wasn't done with that.

If the laptop is at hand, then we're in for some real fun. You see, it gives off heat, so it has become one of my favourite places to lie and nap.  I might even jump up and sit down on it for a nice bath. This often results in my gifted keister typing something, or opening new boxes, but since my fluffy body is blocking the screen, it takes a few minutes for the human to be able to see what happened, and all sorts of mayhem can ensue.  My brilliant tush has been able to close boxes on the computer, and has even turned a screen full of black marks completely white.  Unfortunately, this sort of fun usually results in my getting removed from the nice warm space, and possibly even chased out of the room.  This is an activity that I really cherish, because if the human has been parked in front of the laptop for a long period of time, the sheer talent of my hiney can actually make miniature waterfalls pour from their weird round eyes in disbelief.

Today I have chosen to help my human create a project with material.  I find it fun to slip a paw in between the shiny metal tool they use to cut the fabric.  When I do this, they have to stop all together, and they move me more quickly, however, I can tell they miss me, so I always come back.  I know how important I am to them, and who am I to deny them my greatness?  One day they will figure out that claws are much sharper than any tool, and can even be used to re-position and separate the fabric that they are trying to attach together.  Admitting that could take them quite a while, so until then...feed me.

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