Saturday 3 January 2015



The humans often wonder how we felines can very comfortably fall asleep in the strangest of positions.  The answer is complete and utter flexibility.  To my humans, who always seem to fall asleep in the same position, (a trait that blatantly shows their lack of imagination), this might look horribly uncomfortable.  However, I can assure you, dear reader, that there is method to this seeming madness.

I often sprawl on my back for several reasons.  For one, the humans think it is a sign of trust. It makes them feel like they're doing a good job of taking care of me.  I like to make them think that they are doing well.  I suppose that it gives them a warm fuzzy feeling, which makes them forgive me more quickly when I toy with their emotions and use cat psychology on them.  (It also helps me get away with activities that I hold so dear, like "helping").  Whenever a cat is sleeping, which let's be honest, is most of the time in a perfect world, we are inevitably woken by a mini human's prodding or poking.  By presenting my fuzzy little tummy, I am inviting the attention there.  If I am to be woken early, I am at least going to get a good belly rub out of it.  

This bit of cat psychology is priceless, and goes along with other wonderful tricks such as rubbing fur against black pants to receive petting, and perching on a lap in order to get closer to your ice cream.  The honor and privilege the humans feel at our attention almost always wins in our favour, and the positive outcome for us is often two-fold. I mean, why just steal licks at a human's ice cream or breakfast cereal milk when one can often obtain petting at the same time?

Bending in half and twisting ourselves like a pretzel is not just done for comfort, and to make the humans feel uneasy at our uncanny dead-like appearance, but it also affords a means to an end.  By folding myself thusly, I am actually able to use the cover of blanket to shield the light from my eyes.  This is particularly useful when humans are up and around and feel the need to use a fake light source given there generally less than ideal eyes.  It is also a wonderful technique if we cats happen to come across a perfect square of sunlight that we just must bask in on the floor or furniture.

I would suggest that humans give this posture a try, they might be surprised at how comfortable it really is.  The only reason I haven't, is because the big humans are rickety enough as it is, sometimes barely able to walk after sitting for what they consider to be a long time in one position.  We cats endeavour to sleep for much longer periods of time, and I'm afraid that upon waking, they will have lost the ability to shuffle to our bowl and feed us.  Alas, humans will just have to continue their dull sleeping exercises in the way that they always have, and leave the really talented stuff to us.  I try not to expect too much from my human counter parts, and this seems to make life easier for all of us.  I leave the humans now to ponder at the greatnss of my sleeping posture, and possibly have the mini humans, who are much more flexible than the older ones, copy me.  Who knows, they may even succeed, but until then...feed me.

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